#0076 - 18

I wonder what has changed so drastically in the neurotic synapses in my brain
that as of 5 days ago I can now go out for a relaxing smoke break;
I can now give new life and shelter to my own human being;
I can now swear my endless loyalty to a pretty girl;
I can now drink my way into a blissful oblivion;
I can now fire bullets in foreign lands;
and buy 700 horses set on wheels.

From what I know, the hidden corners of my school smell like nicotine and marijuana;
infants have been birthed by girls still attending classes I passed long ago;
girls much younger than I have been with men much older than I;
boys much younger than I have taken sacramental wine;
teens have taken up arms in nationalistic service;
and 16-year-olds have crashed cars.

So why do I now suddenly hold a skeleton key in my hand?

#0075 - Nighttime

The window of my darkened room
gives way to moonlight's lunar rays,
and as I sit here, grimly think-
-ing, peace leaves me while silence stays.

Here I think of all and no-
-thing, mind confused and soul attuned
to this strange night where I have quick-
-ly found myself a sullen lune.

I think I think of something, but
I'm not sure what I'm thinking of.
The gears within my head are shift-
-ing as the shadows dance above

my head that rests upon this pill-
-ow softer than my hardened feel-
-ings, catching all my unknown doubts
in restless peace, in restful sleep.

#0073 - Thought 16

Why not
wander through
the chasms of life
with a smile
upon your face?

#0072 - Thought 15

There it was,
our bright, naïve hope.
Left the shelter of our shells,
found its way into a harsh reality.

#0070 - Alchemy

21 ounces nicotine
19 ounces cocaine
1 razor
1 straw
2 grams heroine
1 syringe
15 ounces marijuana
1 lighter
22 ounces liquor
55 ounces beer
1 glass

And thus,
the ingredients to my magical potion.
I call it the "Elixir of Joy."

The concoction that makes me happy,
plasters a smile upon my face
up until I pass out,
and even then I get to dream of fun, ridiculous things.

#0069 - Advice

I promise I am not controlled
by failure or by fear.
I simply take advice where I
can find it, far or near.

And I have learned a simple thing
about others' advice:
that those who give wise words are oft-
-en scarred and bruised by vice.

The best advice will come from those
who've rolled and bathed in mud,
and those whose countless leaps of faith
have colored them in blood.

The best advice will come from those
who've felt their kind hearts shatter,
and those who stare at blades and rope
and into murky water.

The best advice will come from those
who've screamed and fought and cried,
and those poor souls who've been betrayed
or to whom others lied.

Though when the times are good the on-
-ly thoughts I need are mine,
in darkness I'll take words of those
whose times are worse than mine.

#0067 - "When have I ever given the impression that I am emotionless?"

When have I ever given the impression that I am emotionless?

Is it strange to say that I need not smile to be happy?
Is it strange to say that I need not cry to be sad?

Is it strange to say that I need not sulk to be disappointed?
Is it strange to say that I need not boast to be proud?

Is it strange to say that I need not kiss to love?
Is it strange to say that I need not insult to hate?

Is it strange to say that I need not waste my time to embrace permanence?
Is it strange to say that I need not treasure my time to embrace transience?

Is it strange to say that I need not be opulent to be rich?
Is it strange to say that I need not be destitute to be poor?

When have I ever given the impression that I am emotionless,
Compassionless,
Mindless,
Thoughtless,
Or any other -less when compared to anyone else?