I was in a courtroom the other day.
Don't worry, I wasn't the criminal -
I'm White.
Now, if I was a politician
I would never say that,
For fear of a lynching of my reputation.
I'm not a politician.
Because,
As we all know,
Politicians are the worst kind of people.
If there was a tournament for the worst kinds of people,
Politicians would take first place.
Just look around:
Right now we have a man that wants to build a wall to keep the rapist Latinos out of our country,
Which is not much worse than the man two hundred years ago who wrote about freedom in our Declaration of Independence despite owning his own conveniently unadvertised slaves.
But I guess I shouldn't be too hard on politicians.
After all, if politicians take first place in a tournament for the worst kinds of people,
Poets must take close second.
After all,
Poets lie all the time.
But we don't call them lies.
We call them "metaphors."
So,
I use my metaphorical river of words
To describe our politicians as metaphorical mules:
The main attraction in the metaphorical circus of politics.
Their favorite thing is metaphorical white chocolate,
But they cringe at the mention of metaphorical milk chocolate
And metaphorical dark chocolate,
Despite the fact that chocolate is chocolate,
No matter the color.
They won't make a comment on metaphorical fried rice,
Though,
Because fried rice does the best in our universities
And runs 1.5 million of our businesses.
Fried rice doesn't run the country,
But it comes close.
I'll just say that while I'm happy to be living in our melting pot,
It disappoints me that some people are still afraid of throwing certain vegetables into the broth
On account of shape, size or color.